Love Is Holding

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

Always good to remember…

We push people away because we are afraid of letting them in and being hurt when they leave.

We grasp on to people that are not good for us because we are afraid of being alone and someone is better than no one.

Pushing and pulling are fear, not love.

Love is holding.

Loosely enough so that each person has the freedom to grow and change.

And firmly enough so that each person knows they are supported.

It is trusting the other person enough that they want to stay even if they have the ability to leave.

And trusting yourself that you will be okay if they do.

View original post

12 Reasons to Journal After Your Divorce

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

I’m a big believer in filling your virtual self-care toolbox with as many strategies as possible. Different situations call for different approaches and some situations call for pulling out every trick and technique available.

Divorce is often one of those situations that calls for utilizing every conceivable tool: counseling, medication, exercise, supportive structure and people, mindfulness, intentional socialization, support groups, good nutrition, sleep.

And journaling.

I find that journaling is often misunderstood, seen as a self-indulgent activity that fosters wallowing in misery or perceived as an activity that requires a certain aptitude for writing or reflection.

But those misconceptions could not be further from the truth. Journaling is perhaps the single most powerful tool that you can use to resolve negative feelings that arise from divorce while fostering attitudes and perspectives that will serve to amplify your happiness and well-being.

Not convinced yet? Here are twelve reasons you should add…

View original post 1,155 more words

Dr Phil’s Tips For Avoiding Divorce

May 29, 2015-Marriage Survival Guide for Tough Times

On a recent episode of his talk show Families under Fire, Dr. Phil talked to two couples who said their marriages were collapsing along with the economy. Karen and her husband, Walter, were coping with mounting debt and rising tempers. Sherida said she was tired of being the sole provider in her household while her husband, Brandon, depended on his faith to see them through.

Along with Bishop T.D. Jakes, Dr. Phil outlined a strategy to help these couples and you navigate difficult times.
1) Acknowledge and work the problem.
When the heat is on, don’t take your anger out on your spouse….

To read the rest of the article:

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/582

The “divorced kid syndrome”. Why adults from divorced homes stay in bad marriages

shellbegly91's Blog

I don’t know if it’s a syndrome or not, but it seems that the effects are real. If you are a child who grew up in a divorced home, chances are you fought 1,000 times harder to keep your marriage together. Now I’m not saying that we all don’t fight to keep our marriage together,but the more I talk with people who have gone through a divorce, it seems that the ones who were also in abusive relationships stayed longer than those who had not been raised in a divorced household. Now let’s get down to why that is.

You came from a broken home, you’ve felt the distance between your parents when there were times you were just dying to have their support at the SAME time. Not a week apart , not a month apart, and not years later. You craved them both sharing the same space and…

View original post 701 more words

Separated moms on Mother’s Day

A re-Blog for the single Mother’s in light of Mother’s Day

Simple divorce truth #2: turn up your mojo

Very thoughtful.

The Better Divorce Blog

When I divorced after twenty-eight years with my ex-husband, it took me two years to fully bounce back. Divorce, or any family law matter, can be a tough emotional experience. After all, divorce is not the outcome we initially sought.  But it is important to understand why divorce is a challenge and how we can use the resources we possess — and may have forgotten — to recover expeditiously.

Divorce was one of the most trying periods of my life. I had spent more than 60% of my lifetime in that relationship, chasing the dream. But the legal action itself was uncomplicated. For many of us, however, this is not the case: when one has to litigate a contested legal action, there are additional obstacles. In a thought provoking and entertaining article published this month, New York divorce attorney Brian Perskin writes that a) divorces can be expensive and exhausting, b) you never…

View original post 519 more words